I found this free writing I did several years ago. I have since grown a garden and most of my children are grown!
It was written for an altered book I entitled, "My Blue Book of Desire." The title I stole from somewhere, I don't remember where, and the plan was to make a dark blue slightly sad and dark book. Probably that was how I felt at the time. See this journal page.
Longing for lost dreams - not released- not free- not forgotten- this vision will not be forsaken
How to redeem this dream, this imperfect manifestation, this desire, this longing, this love!
How do I settle for less?
How do I make the most of what is in front of me, in this life.
Only God can make this loss beautiful!
Creativity: making, doing, living, loving
This sub-creation that I see before me: this journey, the journal,
The trial, trail, tears.
The perseverance to growth,
To forgive and be forgiven.
By grace to finish well!
Soul searching- discovery-joy
Spirit, soul, song, tune, music, air, breath, animus.
My life wrapped around sights and sounds, tastes and colors; the physical life.
LOVE, NURTURING, NEST...more than the physical!
For some years I have given up this- no garden but grass and weeds- to raise children- to feed and educate them, sometimes not feeding them well, I have neglected the culinary arts.
How to live gracefully, frugally, clean and neat, but also creative, which seems to necessitate some messy clutter!
Give, give, give, for it is better to give than to receive but giving to my own children is not hard or unselfish, though not always easy! Self-absorption seems to come naturally. (See blog!)
All that I have; life does not consist of things!
I need food, shelter, utilities, clothing, medicine, glasses...
Do I need paint, paper, books, fabric, yarn?
When I was a child I made a rose out of native clay, drew on free paper.
I have all this and more. Do stuff with it! Draw, paint, make books. write, sew, weave...and share.
Make a winter garden by the south wall: lettuce, cabbage, parsely, dill, fennel, onions, peas, flowers! Make gardens not war! Grow good stuff to eat. Smell the earth! Watch seeds sprouting. Plant wildflowers: poppies phlox, sunflowers, blanket flowers, larkspurs, marigolds...
